Too many spies in the CIA chatroom
by thefrostedrose
Summary: What do you get when you put four single spies in a CIA created chatroom? A crackfic :D  AbbyXJoe, RachelXMatt. Oneshot.


**This is very AU. Be warned. **

**Abby = Hot_Emerald**

**Rachel = Proud_Dolphin **

**Matt = Black_Thunder**

**Joe = Wise_Guy**

**GGBBGGBBGGGBB**

**Hot_Emerald has signed in**

**Proud_Dolphin has signed in**

**Black_Thunder has signed in**

**Wise_Guy has signed in**

Hot_Emerald:Does anyone know why the CIA has started an IM service?

Proud_Dolphin: I'm pretty sure they would want their agents working and not talking to their friends.

Wise_Guy: Can the CIA get us better codenames for this thing? I mean "Wise_Guy"? "Black_Thunder"? What kind of shit is this?

Black_Thunder: I actually sort of like mine.

Hot_Emerald: Loser.

Proud_Dolphin: We're so lame for doing this. Four 25 year old spies probably have better things to do.

Wise_Guy: Like? I'm stuck in Italy.

Hot_Emerald: South Africa.

Proud_Dolphin: Australia.

Black_Thunder: AM I SERIOUSLY THE ONLY ONE STUCK AT LANGLEY?

Wise_Guy: :)

Hot_Emerald: Mega Loser :D

Proud_Dolphin: Well…Australia isn't THAT great.

Hot_Emerald: Stop trying to make him feel better, Rach. All of us know that if you and Matt weren't on here you'd be sexting or giving him a strip tease on Skype.

Black_Thunder: And we all know that you and Solomon would be doing it in a coat closet.

Hot_Emerald: SHUT UP! Loser :(

Proud_Dolphin: Don't deny it, Abs.

Wise_Guy: Abby and I have never done…anything.

Black_Thunder: OF COURSE you haven't.

Hot_Emerald: You like to use Caps Lock, don't you?

Black_Thunder: YES

Proud_Dolphin: :)

Hot_Emerald: What a bunch of lame-asses.

Wise_Guy: Then why are you talking to us?

Hot_Emerald: Lack of anything better to do.

Proud_Dolphin: Abby just doesn't want to admit she likes hanging out with us.

Black_Thunder: We all know she loves us :D

Hot_Emerald: What's with the gay emoticons, Morgan?

Wise_Guy: They should totally make a set of dirty emoticons.

Proud_Dolphin: You wish, Solomon.

Black_Thunder: That would actually be kind of hot.

Hot_Emerald: I can't believe I'm IMing my sister and our two stupid best friends on the CIA network right now.

Wise_Guy: Did you just call me your best friend? ;)

Black_Thunder: Awww Abby loves us!

Proud_Dolphin: Hahahaha

Hot_Emerald: …ughhh…

Wise_Guy: Is that some South African sex noise? ;)

Hot_Emerald: laaammmmeee

Black_Thunder: That one was actually kind of lame, Solomon. I laughed anyway :D

Proud_Dolphin: *sigh* it's good to be talking to all of you.

Wise_Guy: The last time we all saw each other was…Milan, six months ago?

Black_Thunder: We should play a game. Would you rather, anyone?

Proud_Dolphin: Abby, would you rather sleep with Joe or Matt?

Wise_Guy: Excellent question *turns to face Abby*

Hot_Emerald: Joe.

Proud_Dolphin: :)

Black_Thunder: :D

Wise_Guy: ;*

Hot_Emerald: ONLY because Rachel wants to do Matt.

Proud_Dolphin: Hell yeah! Oh, wait, no, I mean-

Black_Thunder: Hahaha I knew you always thought I was sexy, Rach.

Wise_Guy: Damn, I love this IM thing.

Proud_Dolphin: I meant "Hell yeah!" like "Yeah, Abby admitted she wanted to sleep with Joe!"

Hot_Emerald: MmmmmmHmmmm

Wise_Guy: Whatever you say, Rach.

Black_Thunder: This is the best thing the CIA ever created!

Wise_Guy: I second that.

Hot_Emerald: Immaturity in it's *finest form.

Proud_Dolphin: Definitely.

Black_Thunder: Would you rather hook up with James Bond or Jason Bourne?

Wise_Guy: Matt and I can't answer.

Proud_Dolphin: Jason Bourne.

Hot_Emerald: James Bond. Daniel Craig is sexxxyyyyy

Wise_Guy: You would take Bond over me?

Hot_Emerald: Any day.

Wise_Guy: That hurt, Abs. It really did. :P

Hot_Emerald: :D

Black_Thunder: Hate to interrupt all the sexual tension, but would you rather work at a strip joint, or on a phone sex hotline?

Proud_Dolphin: What kind of question is that!

Black_Thunder: I'm just curious ;)

Hot_Emerald: Strip joint.

Wise_Guy: Strip.

Proud_Dolphin: Strip.

Black_Thunder: Stripppp.

Proud_Dolphin: Greeeaaat. Now the CIA has four operatives who want to be strippers.

Hot_Emerald: Remember the time I dressed as a French Maid for Halloween? Dammmnnn I looked hott.

Black_Thunder: Someone's full of themselves.

Wise_Guy: Niiiicccee.

Hot_Emerald: Excuse me for not having low self esteem!

Proud_Dolphin: I remember tht! Didn't you end up hooking up with Townsend at that party later?

Wise_Guy: YOU SLEPT WITH TOWNSEND?

Hot_Emerald: Someone's touchy…:D

Black_Thunder: That sucks for you, Joe.

Wise_Guy: That guy's gonna get his ass kicked.

Black_Thunder: Was the sex even THAT good?

Hot_Emerald: Hellll yeahhhh ;D

Proud_Dolphin: God, Joe's probably gonna go murder Edward now.

Black_Thunder: Poor guyyyyy. I always thought Eddie was hilariousss.

Hot_Emerald: JOE! Don't go off killing Edward, okay?

Wise_Guy: What will it take for me not to?

Black_Thunder: This is gonna be good…

Proud_Dolphin: Hahaha ^^^^ u got that right

Hot_Emerald: I'll…do whatever you want.

Wise_Guy: Seriously? :D

Hot_Emerald: What'd you want, Solomon?

Wise_Guy: I wanttt you to...admittt you like me.

Hot_Emerald: God, no.

Proud_Dolphin: Why not? I thought he was going to ask you to give him a striptease.

Hot_Emerald: Because I don't like him!

Black_Thunder: Why not?

Wise_Guy: Yeahh, why not?

Hot_Emerald: Because he's arrogant, and full of himself, and uncaring, and inconsiderate, and selfish, and immature, and unreliable.

Wise_Guy: Then why did you say you would sleep with me? ;)

Proud_Dolphin: What DO you like about Joe?

Black_Thunder: There has to be something about him, Abs.

Hot_Emerald: Joe is…loyal. Courteous. Courageous. Honest. Positive. Respectful.

Wise_Guy: Anything else? :)

Hot_Emerald: Sweet…and pretty sexy :P

Black_Thunder: Damn, watching you two is like watching a soap opera.

Proud_Dolphin: So…dramalicious.

Wise_Guy: One minute, she hates me, the other, she loves me :D. I DO make women go crazy.

Hot_Emerald: Shuttt upppp.

Black_Thunder: James is staring at me…wondering why the hell I'm laughing.

Proud_Dolphin: Does the CIA monitor these things?

Wise_Guy: Probably not.

Hot_Emerald: Thank god. I don't want the Agency to know that I admitted I wanted to sleep with Joe.

Black_Thunder:…what did you just say? :D

Hot_Emerald: I take that back.

Proud_Dolphin: Did you just admit you want to have sex with Solomon?

Wise_Guy: You can pick the time and place, Abs ;)

Hot_Emerald: I. Take. It. Back.

Black_Thunder: Now we just have to get Rachel to admit that she wants to get it on with me.

Proud_Dolphin: You wanna get it on with me, Matt. You know you do.

Black_Thunder: Admitt that u think I'm a total hottie :P

Proud_Dolphin: Not before you admit that you think I'm the hottest girl you've ever seen ;)

Hot_Emerald: Can't you guys both admit you wanna sleep with each other?

Wise_Guy: Yeahhh. Abby already admitted it to me :)

Hot_Emerald: Solomon, shut your mouth, or I'll shut it for you.

Wise_Guy:…with your own ;*

**Director_James has signed on**

Director_James: There is more sexual tension in here than there was in _Mr. and Mrs. Smith_.

Proud_Dolphin: Good afternoon, Mr. James…

Director_James: Good afternoon, Rachel. Abigail. Joe. Matthew.

Hot_Emerald: Heyyyy Mr. James…

Black_Thunder: Hellooo.

Wise_Guy:...Well, this is awkward…

Director_James: I wasn't listening to anything, I swear.

Proud_Dolphin: I have to go…do stuff. Byeee

**Proud_Dolphin has signed off.**

Hot_Emerald: Well, biii everyone.

Wise_Guy: See you later, Abby ;)

**Hot_Emerald has signed off**

**Wise_Guy has signed off. **

Black_Thunder: I've got…stuff to do.

Director_James: No you don't. I can see you right now.

Black_Thunder: Crap.


End file.
